About

Hello, I’m Alice

Barrister, teacher, CEO, and author. Today I help leaders and their teams understand the needs behind behaviour, so they can talk about anything.

Alice Sheldon smiling, outdoors in a garden

Why I do this work

I’ve been a barrister, a teacher, and a CEO, as well as a daughter, a partner, and a parent. In every role, I’ve seen how much gets lost when we don’t navigate our differences well: the conversation that never happens, the idea that never gets heard, the friction nobody names. Most of us were never taught another way.

Discovering the power of shared human needs was a lightbulb moment for me. The idea that every piece of behaviour, however difficult, comes from needs we all share gave me a real foundation for building the kind of team, and the kind of world, that I want to see. I wrote about it in Why weren’t we taught THIS at school?, now published in eleven languages.

Today, as the founder of The Needs Lens, I work with leaders and teams across the public, private, and third sectors. I see all the time how much opens up when people understand each other’s needs: honest conversations, better ideas, and people who feel heard and seen.

Human skills are what set the best teams apart, and they aren’t a gift some people are born with. Your team can learn them.

Alice smiling on a rope swing in a bright room full of plants

What I believe

Soft skills are not in the least bit soft.

They’re the skills that close deals, get us through tough interpersonal issues, and make projects fly.

“Difficult people” are people with an unmet need, expressed in a way we don’t enjoy.

Once we see that, it’s easier to stop being annoyed and realise how to do something that actually changes what’s happening.

An overreaction is the clue, not the problem.

When a response in ourselves or someone else seems out of proportion, something important is underneath.

Empathy is not the same as agreement.

We can fully understand someone and still find their beliefs or behaviour intolerable. The difference is that now we’re far more likely to engage with it, and shift it.

Most people can change their listening habits in a single workshop.

We all have automatic responses that don’t help, like fixing, defending, advising, or storytelling. Once we know what to do instead, it’s surprisingly easy to start to listen in ways that build connection.